There’s no denying it—we are living in a time that feels heavier than most of us know how to hold.
The pace of change is relentless. The noise is constant. The demands, expectations, and unexpected tragedies just keep coming.
Whether it’s the world news, the pressure in your inbox, or something deeply personal like a loss or life transition, it’s easy to feel like life is pushing you around—and even easier to forget that you still have power.
Not the kind of power that forces outcomes or fixes everything overnight. But the deeper kind—the power to respond with intention, to come back to yourself, to steady your ground.
This kind of power begins with a pause.
The Power of the Pause
Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and renowned psychiatrist, once wrote:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
That space he speaks of—the space between what happens and what we do next—is often the only space we control. And yet, it’s the most powerful one.
It’s where our presence lives.
It’s where we come back to our intentions.
It’s where we interrupt the noise of fear, stress, and old patterns… and remember who we are.
In my own work—after decades as a psychologist—I call this moment the Break in my ABC model:
The ABC Model: A Simple Map Back to Your Power
When life gets overwhelming, your nervous system takes the wheel. You snap, shut down, spiral into overthinking—or go completely numb.
That’s not failure. That’s biology.
But you don’t have to stay there.
I use this ABC framework to help people shift their state and reclaim their presence:
- A = Aware
Notice when you’ve moved out of calm and into stress (snapping, spiraling, shutting down).
Are you in Yellow—stressed out, reactive?
Or in Red—checked out, hopeless? - B = Break
Pause. Breathe. Step away.
This is the moment of choice Frankl described. It’s not passive—it’s powerful.
The Break is the powerful space where you turn inward instead of reacting outward. - C = Calm
Now that you’ve paused, do something to help your nervous system settle.
That might be:- Taking a walk
- Saying a mantra
- Getting a hug
- Listening to music
- Drinking water slowly
- Speaking kindly to yourself
- Sitting in silence
- Moving your body
This is how you return to Green—your steady state. When you’re in Green, you’re calm, clear, present, and have the power to make real choices again.
Your Power Isn’t Gone—It’s Just Buried Under the Noise
You may not be able to change what’s happening in the world around you. But you can shift the world within you.
Every time you pause instead of react,
Every time you breathe instead of break down,
Every time you remember that you still get to choose—you reclaim power.
The world may feel chaotic, but you don’t have to match its energy.
You can slow down.
You can tune in.
You can choose a response that honors your deeper self.
This is how we grow.
This is how we heal.
This is how we rise—even in the hardest of times.
Use the image of the ABC model to remind yourself what to do when you feel overwhelmed. Save it to your phone, pin it on your fridge, or share it with someone who needs it.
You are not powerless. You are just one pause away from remembering your strength.